Lawyers never use his heart

A man affected by acute heart attack and was brought to Emergency Unit room . Doctor said to him that his soul is helpless unless he get heart transplantation at that time also.

Another doctor entrance to the room and said, "You are lucky, there are two hearts that are available, so you just have to choose one. The one belonging to a lawyer and the other one belong to of a social worker."

The man quickly replied, "Lawyer's heart."

Doctor said, "Wait! Don't you need a little time to get to know their background before making a decision?"

The man replied, "I am already quite familiar. We all know that social workers have the heart blood thirsty while lawyers never use his heart. So I believe the lawyer's heart is still in a good condition!"

A brilliant young lawyer that stupid

Son of a lawyer would like to follow his father's path so that he go to law school. He graduated with the best performance, and then joined the firm of his father.

On the first day of work, he was rushing into his father's room with his glowing face. "Father, father, in just one day I successfully complete the accident case that has been signed by you for ten years!"

His father said: "Foolish, we can live with that case for the next ten years!"

A Lawyer and An Honest Man

A woman and her little girl visit the grave of her grandmother. When they are running across the cemetery toward the car, her little girl ask, "Mother, if we may bury two people in one grave?"

"Of course not allowed," her mother answered, "so why do you ask?"

"On the gravestone is written 'Here lie a lawyer and an honest man'.

Doctor, Lawyer and Manager About Mistress

A doctor, a lawyer and a manager are discussing whether more beneficial to have a wife or a mistress.

Lawyer said: "Of course, having a mistress is better. If you have a wife and want to divorce, this problem will make you have faced more legal problems."

The doctor said: "Of course having a wife will make a better sense of security because it will reduce your stress and it's good for health."

Manager said: "You both are wrong. The best is to have a wife and have a mistress so that when your wife thinks you are with your mistress and the mistress thinks you are with your wife - you can go to the office and do some work."

No lawyer ever runs out of the intellect

A lawyer defending a rich businessman in a complicated legal proceedings. Unfortunately, the evidences against his client, and he afraid that he will be lose in court later. So the lawyer asks for advice on a more senior co-counsel whether he should send an expensive cigar box to the judges.

The Partners surprised. "Don't, judge that the person who is being considered. If you do that, I guarantee you will lose in court later!"

Several weeks later, the judge handling this case wins the lawyer's client. Lawyer colleagues invite him to congratulates him. "Don't you happy because you did not send an expensive box of cigars to the judge?"

"I was sending it," answered lawyer.

"But in the cigar box I inserted business card of the opponent lawyer."

A Materialistic Lawyer

A lawyer opened his BMW's door, when suddenly a car go fast and hit the door of the car to fall apart dislodged. When police arrived at the scene of an accident, the lawyer complained about the damage to his BMW which was expensive.

"Mr. policeman, see what they do to my BMW!" suspire lawyer.

"You lawyers are materialistic, you made me nausea!" police yell, "You worry aobut your stupid BMW, when your left hand to drop out!"
"Oh Goddd ...," screaming lawyer, who finally realized his left hand that has been dropped out. Instantly he scream, "Where is my Rolex watches ??!!!"

Is There A Lawyer In Heaven ?

A building engineer died and go to hell. Just a moment in hell, he felt the inconvenience in hell and starts designing and building his own convenience. Some time later, hell's residents get the air-conditioned room, sitting closet and escalator, and engineers that is suddenly so popular among the inhabitants of the hell.

One day, the angel called Satan the hell's guardian to ask the Fire conditions there, "O Satan, what is there in hell?"

Satan replied, "Everything ran smoothly. We have AC and a sitting closet and escalator. And certainly, our engineers will give us many more things."

Angel surprised, "What? You have an engineer? This is wrong and should not be left ... he should not be placed in hell, immediately send him to heaven."

Satan replied, "Not exactly. I want to keep him here."

Angel angry, "Send him to my place or I will sue you to court!"

Satan laughing very loud, "Ha .. ha ... you think there are lawyers in heaven?"

A Priest, Doctor and Lawyer

An old man are sprawling in his death bed. He really wants to bring some money in grave later. He called his priest, doctor and lawyer to his side bed. "This 30 million that you must keep. I commend it to you to enter the money in my coffin so that later I can take all the money."

During burial, each person entering the envelope to the chest. When the limousine go home, the pastor suddenly crying and admitted, "I only put 20 million in the envelope me because I need 10 million to build a new church."

"Okay, because we recognize each other," said the doctor, "I admitted only put 10 million in my envelope because we need a new engine in the hospital that are 20 million."

The lawyer surprised. "You are truly shameful," he hoots. "Did that when I enter my envelope in that coffin, I enter my personal check worth 30 million full!"